Nicola Morris - died 2008

This blog is dedicated to the memory of Nicola Morris. Nicola spent most of her short life in foster care or in a Children's Home and she died aged 21 with only a few friends and colleagues to mourn her passing. May she rest in peace.

Ella writes
Although Nichola wasn't a proper friend we both knew her. She left the Home about 18 months before us. She worked in the supermarket we used and we spoke to her most weeks for just for a couple of minutes.

In December 2009 I decided to visit her grave so I called at the little shop next door to the petrol station to buy a few flowers and then drove up to the cemetery.

The car park was empty and because the cemetery was wide open to the freezing cold breeze and with the sun hiding behind dark clouds it was very bleak. The more recent graves were pretty much in date order so I found Nichola's after a few minutes.

There was nothing to show that anybody ever visits her grave which made it even sadder. I “talked” to her for a short while, put the flowers on and said goodbye. I felt very silly but I pleased I had bothered.

I had a little cry walking back to my car. It seems such a waste to die at 21, especially if you didn’t have many happy times in your life. It could so easily have been Eve or I lying there if things had worked out just a bit differently. I think I will visit the grave once a year now.

Eve writes
Somewhere in my flat I have the thank-you letter, enclosing a photo, sent by Nichola’s last pair of foster parents to Ella and me the week after the funeral. They sent it c/o the Children’s Home because they didn’t have an address for us. It seems as if Nichola had kept in touch with her foster parents for the last few years of her life.

In the letter they told us that Nichola had gone into hospital for minor elective surgery and the wound had got infected with MRSA. When Nichola (finally) told them how ill she was they had driven over to see her and they visited her every day from then until she died. I think this can only have been for a few days because Ella and I certainly saw Nichola alive and well only a few (2 or 3?) weeks before she died. I can just about remember the last time we spoke. She was stacking the tinned vegetable shelves and we had our usual quick exchange of news.

After the service at the crematorium I can remember being invited to look at the flowers. I didn’t realise until I got outside that they meant the flowers that had been on the coffin – not just the flowers in general. There were two small bunches, one from “Mum and Dad” and one with a name I cannot remember. We then set off to walk back into town, luckily the Manager of the Home offered us a lift which was kind of him.

N wasn’t stupid – not by any means – and if she had been given just a bit more encouragement to stay on at school who knows what might have happened.

I have since been in touch with Nichola final set of foster parents. They are still living at the same address. They were very pleased to hear Ella had visited her grave. They have had lots of foster children since Nichola but they still remember her. “She was an artistic girl and we still have one of her pictures in the house. Nichola never settled down to life in our small village and after a few months everybody agreed it would be best for her placement to be ended. Every foster parent dreads one of their former children dying and we are so glad it has only happened to us once.”